Bye, Bye, Bellewood: Important Life Lessons from My Fixer Upper

How Did We Even Get Here?

"I found us a house!" My husband (then-fiance') excitedly exclaimed as I walked through the front door after work one day. Removing my shoes and setting my things down, I simply said, "Okay... I didn't even know we were looking?" We were living in a 745-square-foot house at the time with three large dogs, so I suppose this was inevitable, but as I listened to how this new house came to be found, the whole thing was very, endearingly, Chip Gaines-esque. My husband had been walking our youngest dog, Sam, along the same route around our neighborhood for the past few weeks and had struck up an acquaintance relationship with one of our neighbors along the way. Well, one day, this neighbor asked my husband if he knew anyone who might be looking to buy a house and invited him inside to look around. Now, we had talked about eventually needing to upsize to start a family and spread out, but 'eventually' didn't quite mean 'right this minute.' Or so I thought. That same day, when I got home and hadn't even had a chance to take my shoes off, my husband excitedly asked me to go with him to look at the house again. Wandering from room to room, I could see the house's potential, but it definitely needed some attention. Our eccentric neighbors had embraced a “cabin-in-the-suburbs” vibe, complete with antler light fixtures and a rustic stone fireplace that could only be described as “nature-inspired.” Oh, and let’s not forget the charming lack of internal doors—yes, including those on the bathrooms. The staircase railing was a generous piece of plywood, and the loft area was more of a “lofty idea” than an actual room. We went home that night and talked excitedly about some visions we'd had for the house, and, against my better judgement, we found ourselves signing on the dotted line. And this is where the journey begins...

Let the Work Begin

The first thing we did was paint the large living room wall. The whole house was painted in a light neutral beige color (Adobe Sand) that wasn't horrible, but then there were splashes of pistachio green painted throughout which we didn't necessarily love. We painted over the green with the Adobe Sand and chose a beautiful, vibrant blue (Behr's Ocean Boulevard) as an accent color to be painted on our largest living room wall that also extended beyond our fireplace into our dining space. It brightened the space up without being overwhelming and also created a sense of calm while somehow still being a fun color that you just wanted to be around. It was perfect. We then shifted focus to getting some doors installed, starting with the bathrooms. Because, let's be honest, nothing says "luxury living" quite like being able to close the door while you contemplate life choices - or, you know, just trying to avoid awkward conversations with the in-laws. From there, we decided to get the staircase back up to code and turn our loft area into a true master bedroom. This decision, however, came at a price, as closing off that space eliminated a huge source of natural light in our downstairs living area (which, on its own, had zero light sources outside of a single window - that's right, not a downlight was to be found). With the space suddenly being a bit darker, it was clear we'd made the right choice in wall color but something else that became clear was the fireplace was going to need some major attention. The original stone was a dull natural brown slate that did nothing for the ambiance. My solution: grey-wash the whole thing. Much easier said than done, this process took me two weekends to complete, but the results were worth every minute. The varying tones that resulted looked so much softer against the blue and contributed to that light, airy feel I was after for the room. The list of projects we undertook for this house seems rather endless but, with each new endeavor, my confidence in my design choices grew and I felt increasingly at peace with how our home was coming together and evolving into a reflection of us.

The fireplace was easily one of this house's biggest transformations. And perhaps the most time-consuming!

The previous owners had a cabin-in-the-suburbs vibe... With some questionable safety standards.

It was important to me for things to feel bright and as open as possible.

A Forced Farewell

With all the exciting progress we were making on getting this house to be what we wanted and coming up with ways to make it work for our family, unfortunate and unexpected life circumstances would place us in a position where we would need to put the house on the market and plan for a cross-country move. And, ya'll, this is where the post gets raw for me. It wasn't until we began the selling process that I truly recognized how much this house - this house I, admittedly, often criticized when I shouldn't have - became a home. My home. My family's sanctuary from a chaotic world. It's challenging to convey the heart-wrenching emotional weight of taking down family photos and concealing your baby's toys, as though you're erasing any trace that a cherished, sweet boy lives there, just to get your home ready for viewings by strangers. When I saw on our doorbell camera the countless families with small children coming to our open house and booking showing after showing, something welled up inside me. As I fought back tears watching all those small babies come with their parents, all my mama bear mind could think was, "Levi's room is Levi's room - you can't have it." I poured so much love and heart into that room during my nesting phase of pregnancy, that was his; a sacred territory I made special just for him.

Our house sold after only one day on the market. And, as we say goodbye to this home we built and I see room after room become as bare and lifeless as the day we bought it, I'm in a state of perpetual reflection on what the experience of the last three and a half years here have been. It saddens me to acknowledge that I didn't fully appreciate this house until it was too late, and I regret that. I got so caught up in what it lacked, what it didn't look like, the overly awkward floorplan and flow, that I didn't realize how much my small family actually thrived here. How much life was experienced here and the growth moments that were had here. I became a wife, mother and small business owner all in this house. This was the place I nested for the first time and created my son's first home; where I first brought him after the hospital to begin his life and where he transformed from a tiny newborn to a spirited toddler, leaving traces of his existence everywhere from the tiny handprints I refused to wash off the mirror closet in the hallway, the chicken magnet he wedged under the refrigerator that, for the life of me, I can't pry out, to the coffee stains on his bedroom carpet from our early morning play sessions. These walls have seen my child graduate from tummy time to his first wobbly steps and dabbles with running. They've soaked up the sweet sounds of his first words and his countless guttural laughs throughout the day. The myriad of design choices I made for this house certainly contributed to it feeling like a home, but the aesthetic beauty of those selections pale in comparison to the beauty of life's precious moments that were lived in this house. Moments that won't be lived in any other house but this one.

So, here's the wisdom I've gleaned from my time on E. Bellewood Dr. that I'm hoping resonates with anyone who will listen:

1. There is a lot of power in taking a holistic approach to your home styling. It's about so much more than just creating a space that looks nice and visually appealing. When you focus on personalizing your design choices and being intentional about your selections to include a thoughtfulness about how you feel in a space, how your family moves throughout a space - that's truly home.

2. Even if your home isn't decked out in all the finishes you want and dream of, even if you don't have the "perfect" floorplan you want, you can still find ways to infuse love into your house and make it something spectacular that does work for you and your family.

3. Don't wait until it's time to say goodbye to something to truly appreciate the value it has brought your life. Don't wait for that gut-punch moment of taking family photos down and moving kids' toys out of sight. Take a moment, even if it's just five minutes, right now to look around your house and reflect on the things that make it home - your home. Reflect on the amount of life lived in it and the experiences had there and take a second to say, "Wow, that all is actually really awesome." And keep pouring that love into it.

   
   

   A Quick Word to the New Owner

   
   

   I'm genuinely glad you saw you something special in our home and I hope you cherish the memories you'll make here as you take the home we created and build upon it to make it uniquely yours. And I apologize for the coffee stains in the upstairs bedroom's carpet - I did my best to get them out...

   
   
   
   

   And a Final Word to Our Bellewood Fixer

   
   

   Thank you for all the life lessons you taught me while I was here, lessons I'm not sure I would have gained without the work and challenges you came with. I've grown in my patience with projects and myself, and I'm grateful for the growth I've experienced as a person, a friend, a wife, designer, and especially as a mother all while living here. While you hold my most precious life moments forever locked within these walls, I'll carry the lessons I've learned from you with me as my family moves onto our next adventure.